About Taking Care of Vegas
Steve James Daw - AKA Elvis Parsley
After a wild career as a male model, Steve turned his testosterone and sex appeal laden fame towards the performance of dramatic arts.
After a successful career in film and radio (Steve is rumoured to have appeared more times as male stripper in the Bill than anybody else and can also be heard singing karaoke in a pub scene during Dad's Army) he now concentrates on work as a motivational speaker to the British mountaineering team, speechwriting for the Prime Minister of Australia and crooning out his favourite Elvis hits with the band.
His sex appeal alone has been known to cause unconsciousness and spontaneous arousal amongst passing individuals.
After a wild career as a male model, Steve turned his testosterone and sex appeal laden fame towards the performance of dramatic arts.
After a successful career in film and radio (Steve is rumoured to have appeared more times as male stripper in the Bill than anybody else and can also be heard singing karaoke in a pub scene during Dad's Army) he now concentrates on work as a motivational speaker to the British mountaineering team, speechwriting for the Prime Minister of Australia and crooning out his favourite Elvis hits with the band.
His sex appeal alone has been known to cause unconsciousness and spontaneous arousal amongst passing individuals.
Dave 'Plucker' Crunden
Dave is known, amongst other names, as Mr juice, due to his ability to manipulate electricity and consume legendary quantities of liquidised fruit. As a professional vegetarian he exists principally on a diet of broccoli.
His cool radiation is often used instead of air conditioning units in medium sized venues and has personally been able to counteract the imbalance in the fashion force caused by the conjunction of Chris and James, which without him in the past, caused dangerous outbreaks of lurid shirts and even shorts wearing amongst the middle aged.
Once hailed as the new Paganini for his astonishing virtuosity across the strings, it has since been found that the person who hailed him was wrong!
Dave is known, amongst other names, as Mr juice, due to his ability to manipulate electricity and consume legendary quantities of liquidised fruit. As a professional vegetarian he exists principally on a diet of broccoli.
His cool radiation is often used instead of air conditioning units in medium sized venues and has personally been able to counteract the imbalance in the fashion force caused by the conjunction of Chris and James, which without him in the past, caused dangerous outbreaks of lurid shirts and even shorts wearing amongst the middle aged.
Once hailed as the new Paganini for his astonishing virtuosity across the strings, it has since been found that the person who hailed him was wrong!
Chris 'Rough Diamond' Jull
The latest waif and stray to be swept up in the flotsam and jetsam of the tidal wave of rock that is TCV is Chris ‘Rough Diamond' Jull. Distinctive by his long flowing blond hair Chris was in high demand for advertising from an early age. Stints as the milky bar kid and the andrex puppy ( yes it’s a suit ) gave way to him doing stints as the voice of L’Oréal and the feet of pedigree chum. In recent years his 70s Rock star looks have however left little choice of career for him, but he didn’t fancy going to prison for historic disk jockey offences so took up moonlighting as a priest hole extension consultant ( they just don’t squeeze in like they used to ). Bitten by a radio active death watch beetle he has unfortunately not got any superpowers that we’ve spotted yet, we think his skins too tough but are trying to teach it to use a dart gun used on hippos so it can have another go........
And he plays drums. Lots of drums, nearly all of them and quite a lot cymbals too.
The latest waif and stray to be swept up in the flotsam and jetsam of the tidal wave of rock that is TCV is Chris ‘Rough Diamond' Jull. Distinctive by his long flowing blond hair Chris was in high demand for advertising from an early age. Stints as the milky bar kid and the andrex puppy ( yes it’s a suit ) gave way to him doing stints as the voice of L’Oréal and the feet of pedigree chum. In recent years his 70s Rock star looks have however left little choice of career for him, but he didn’t fancy going to prison for historic disk jockey offences so took up moonlighting as a priest hole extension consultant ( they just don’t squeeze in like they used to ). Bitten by a radio active death watch beetle he has unfortunately not got any superpowers that we’ve spotted yet, we think his skins too tough but are trying to teach it to use a dart gun used on hippos so it can have another go........
And he plays drums. Lots of drums, nearly all of them and quite a lot cymbals too.
Paul ‘The Professor’
First Born in 1896 as a small baby boy Paul has struggled through many hard and indeed some easy years with his transition to a middle aged bloke.
He says he has found the acceptance and comradeship from those on the same journey as himself to be richly spiritually rewarding.
We don’t know what that means either !
Real name Sidney Chinstrap, he was cryogenically frozen in the same war time experiment responsible for captain America, however due to budget cutbacks it was decided to do without the muscles and intelligence and instead to provide him with an allotment. Only dethawed last year he is still able to go into into a dormant like stasis every night. Known by some as ‘The Professor ‘ it is rumoured he once lectured Stephen Hawking on 15 th century madrigals before he took up physics.
Highly sought after for his abilities with the bass and possession of a cheese for life voucher won in a low stakes poker match in lanzarote in 1984; Paul joins us in place of Pete 'the duke' of bassington who has retired to his country estate as he has a problem with unruly peasants.
First Born in 1896 as a small baby boy Paul has struggled through many hard and indeed some easy years with his transition to a middle aged bloke.
He says he has found the acceptance and comradeship from those on the same journey as himself to be richly spiritually rewarding.
We don’t know what that means either !
Real name Sidney Chinstrap, he was cryogenically frozen in the same war time experiment responsible for captain America, however due to budget cutbacks it was decided to do without the muscles and intelligence and instead to provide him with an allotment. Only dethawed last year he is still able to go into into a dormant like stasis every night. Known by some as ‘The Professor ‘ it is rumoured he once lectured Stephen Hawking on 15 th century madrigals before he took up physics.
Highly sought after for his abilities with the bass and possession of a cheese for life voucher won in a low stakes poker match in lanzarote in 1984; Paul joins us in place of Pete 'the duke' of bassington who has retired to his country estate as he has a problem with unruly peasants.
Jon ‘Boner’ Veal
Once picketed by animal rights protesters due to his surname, Jon is the product of a genetic experiment that attempted to combine the DNA of human with that of a trombone. It did of course fail badly and it is left him permanently overexcited in need of constant lubrication and highly flatulent.
Obsessed with silly noises (Parp!) he has to be calmed by things relating to Cornwall.
Actually taller than he is wide he has to wear ordinary clothes in order to create this amazing optical illusion.
Once picketed by animal rights protesters due to his surname, Jon is the product of a genetic experiment that attempted to combine the DNA of human with that of a trombone. It did of course fail badly and it is left him permanently overexcited in need of constant lubrication and highly flatulent.
Obsessed with silly noises (Parp!) he has to be calmed by things relating to Cornwall.
Actually taller than he is wide he has to wear ordinary clothes in order to create this amazing optical illusion.
Claire ‘Saxy’ Samson
Having escaped from a puritan Morris dancing sect as a teenager Claire is allergic to filth. She denies that she is the bands sex object and she continues to object whenever it is suggested.
Born completely bald she is in high demand for her home catheter insertion service and rectal flower arranging. As a childhood maths prodigy and telepath she turned down the job as Carol Vorderman's replacement before even being offered it in order to work with disadvantaged middle-aged men with no sense of taste.
As well as funking up the horn section she is also fully inflatable and once appeared on the X-Factor doing things with vegetables.
Having escaped from a puritan Morris dancing sect as a teenager Claire is allergic to filth. She denies that she is the bands sex object and she continues to object whenever it is suggested.
Born completely bald she is in high demand for her home catheter insertion service and rectal flower arranging. As a childhood maths prodigy and telepath she turned down the job as Carol Vorderman's replacement before even being offered it in order to work with disadvantaged middle-aged men with no sense of taste.
As well as funking up the horn section she is also fully inflatable and once appeared on the X-Factor doing things with vegetables.
James ‘The Human Lips’ Bancroft
Renowned for his love of exotic destinations and erotic deviations, when not trumpeting for TCV, James is often seen cruising up and down the Sea wall at Minster clad in a Miami vice silk shirt and golfing trousers.
Once stopped by traffic police for causing a public affray in a built up area, he is now only allowed out of the house for Private TCV functions and judicial cases at the High Court in London.
After being booted out of the Boys Brigade & Salvation Army for his ‘Jazzy’ approach to onward Christian Soldiers, TCV recruited the extra ordinary talentless Xylophone player, gave him a Trumpet and the rest as they say is History…Unless you are a time traveler, when it will be pre-historic in a relative way associated to the semi classical gravity and the propagation of quantum matter fields.
Renowned for his love of exotic destinations and erotic deviations, when not trumpeting for TCV, James is often seen cruising up and down the Sea wall at Minster clad in a Miami vice silk shirt and golfing trousers.
Once stopped by traffic police for causing a public affray in a built up area, he is now only allowed out of the house for Private TCV functions and judicial cases at the High Court in London.
After being booted out of the Boys Brigade & Salvation Army for his ‘Jazzy’ approach to onward Christian Soldiers, TCV recruited the extra ordinary talentless Xylophone player, gave him a Trumpet and the rest as they say is History…Unless you are a time traveler, when it will be pre-historic in a relative way associated to the semi classical gravity and the propagation of quantum matter fields.
Dan ‘The Sound Man’ Skinner
Dan was snapped up by the band as he quickly proved his ability to miraculously eliminate wrong notes before they left the speakers.
Nearly as amazing as Beethoven composing whilst deaf, Dan is able to perform his magic on the desk, despite a bizarre childhood accident that left him without a sense of irony....
Dan was snapped up by the band as he quickly proved his ability to miraculously eliminate wrong notes before they left the speakers.
Nearly as amazing as Beethoven composing whilst deaf, Dan is able to perform his magic on the desk, despite a bizarre childhood accident that left him without a sense of irony....